Ballet! (say it like this, bah-Laaay!)

19 Sep

Ok. So I watch So You Think You Can Dance, presumably a show created for 13-year-old girls who are still reliving the glory days of that tap class their moms’ forced them to take as toddlers. I’m not 13 and I can’t dance, except for the Cotton-Eyed Joe (all Texans are taught this dance in music classes in elementary school. Seriously). But, I love this show! It’s cheerful and uplifting,especially if you fast forward through all the judges comments. Here’s why I watch…

Crazy Stupid Dancing

No human should be able to do this

Or this

You’re shitting me, right?

Muscles

Roman Muscles

Anguished Muscles

Girl Muscles

Asian Boy Crushes

Cole

Two-fer: Marko and Tadd

Alex Freaking Wong (Stole the name. Thank you, Meredith Hoffa from ew.com)

tWitch

Werewolf tWitch

East Coast tWitch

Cyborg tWitch

The season finale was last night and two amazingly gorgeous, other-worldly ballet dancers were anointed America’s Favorite Dancers. Rightly so because…

No one wears teeth this big so well, and she’s a ballerina that pole dances!!

Cheeky indeed.

and…

Look at this face (and abs)! And he can do crap like the picture below.

Full grown woman, over the head, one-handed. Suck it, bitches!

Congratulations to Eliana Girard and Chehon Wespi-Tschopp (whose name always makes me think of steak)!!

Ballet!

Ciao, y’all!

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We’re in…Indiana?

18 Sep

I’m a Texan. Born in Texas. Raised in Texas. Speak Texan (Gruene=Green, Coke=any carbonated beverage). I’ve lived in every major city in Texas, except Houston because Houston is disgusting. I’ve left Texas a few times but somehow the supernatural gravitational force that links all Texans to the Motherland keeps pulling me back. But from time to time, the husband (from California, who doesn’t get it) convinces me to give relocation another go.

So, we recently decided, for apparently no good reason, to move halfway across the country. I think it was mainly for the money, because we are definitely whores for the money, but also the children were getting WAY to comfortable. What with all those friends, family and feelings of success and happiness they were developing.  Definitely time to shake them up a little. Toughen them up.

So, off we went to Louisville, Kentucky. What? I know, no one moves moves to Kentucky and every comment people make to you about the move starts with, “That’s where that derby is, right?”  Yes, yes it is. And they’re fucking serious about it…

This dude probably spent six weeks on this hat

After the derby…wait,my bad…The Derby, the only other thing you need to know about Kentucky is this…

uhm, yeah

Another interesting thing about Kentucky…absolute shit school system.  Education is important to me because the last thing I need is future Walmart employees running around my house. Therefore, after three months of struggling with stupidness (stupid administration, stupid curriculum, stupid 1960’s policy of bussing kids to the ghetto) in Kentucky, we found the promised land. Indiana…

I so hope to meet him one day

Being from Texas, I was very distraught about the concept of moving (again) to a complete other STATE! That’s when I discovered this…

Oh, never mind

Now we are in Indiana. It’s nice. The schools are good. The children are coping well with the depression. It’s a bit nondescript, but at least not this nondescript…

Ciao, y’all!

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